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Child Custody: Abby's Perspective
NAMES HAVE BEEN ALTERED TO PROTECT THE PRIVACY OF THE FAMILY.
Abby and James met at a party in high school. They were young and in love: a combination that can lead to happiness - or a lot of mistakes - when emotions are running high. Not only that, but casual drug use was getting them even higher. Smoking weed became an every day habit for them before classes, after school, and on the weekend. They also experimented with other hallucinogens. On drugs, Abby had distanced herself from reality, so Abby’s friends then distanced themselves from her. As the couple’s drug use got more dysfunctional over time, so did their relationship.
Abby got pregnant 9 months into the relationship. Their new life as a family was fine at first, but things started to get rocky in their relationship after their daughter, Emma, had her first birthday.
The new parents began to argue. It got progressively worse over time, and Abby didn’t know who to turn to when they would fight: something that happened all too often. Things were almost under control until one fight, in June of 2016, landed Tatum in the hospital. This is when the Department of Children & Families (DCF) first got involved, and things continued to go downhill from there.
Abby got pregnant 9 months into the relationship. Their new life as a family was fine at first, but things started to get rocky in their relationship after their daughter, Emma, had her first birthday.
The new parents began to argue. It got progressively worse over time, and Abby didn’t know who to turn to when they would fight: something that happened all too often. Things were almost under control until one fight, in June of 2016, landed Tatum in the hospital. This is when the Department of Children & Families (DCF) first got involved, and things continued to go downhill from there.
But Abby isn't the only one...
It can feel like an uphill battle for women trying to escape a violent household with their children. Parents splitting up is the first step of any child custody proceeding. It’s especially significant for women who are leaving their abusers. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a woman will attempt leaving an abusive relationship seven times, on average, before being successful. The Willow Domestic Violence Center is an organization based in Lawrence, Kansas, that provides shelter, education and outreach. Will Averill, the director of Community Engagement, is responsible for maintaining partnerships with other organizations. We had a chance to speak with him about the difficulties women and their children can face in transitioning out of an abusive home environment.
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Will Averill, Willow Center director of Community Engagement
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The Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence (KCSDV) is a nonprofit organization that unifies 27 member organizations across the state to eliminate sexual and domestic violence, as well as support survivors. Its director of Advocacy, Kathy Ray, explain why the process of leaving is so difficult for survivors, especially when there are children involved. |
Kathy Ray, KCSDV director of Advocacy
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